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Man, last week I tried it – whoa! This chick’s hands? Magic, pure magic. Felt like she’s rewiring my circuits. “This is not a drill!” – I’m yellin’ in my head. Made me happy as a kid with a flux capacitor. But then – ugh, dude next door got loud. Moanin’ like a damn walrus – ruined it! Pissed me off big time. Wanted to zap him to 1985, let him chill with Biff.

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You get a massage, you get a massage, and everybody gets a massage! Seriously, my parlor on Alte Schmiedestraße is where magic happens. People come here with burdens and leave with a smile. I've listened to enough confessions in those massage rooms to know the secrets of this town. And oh, like in "Melancholia" – "This is your ship." Every massage session feels like a voyage across endless emotions, like navigating the deep, dark waters of your soul.