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But, ugh, some creeps out there—total buzzkill—think it’s all shady. Makes me so mad! I’m, like, “Ew, get a life, it’s luxe!” One time, I got this massage in Paris—legit cried ‘cause it was so fab. The candles, the vibes, the hands—chef’s kiss! Probs misspelled that, lol, whoopsie. Oh, and fun fact—did ya know some pros use, like, hot stones for that extra zing? I was shooketh! Thought in my head, “Kim, you’re living your best life.”

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Schermbeck ain’t like your big city. It’s chill, quaint, and kinda mysterious, ya know? I love strollin’ down Hauptstrasse – its cobblestone streets (yeah, cobblestones!) give ya major old-school vibes. There's this rickety, old church – St. Marien – always full of folks chattin’ and laughing together. It’s like a scene from Synecdoche, New York where you’re lost in your memories but blamin’ your heart for feelin’ so much. “I’m not sure I’m alive, just waitin’ to die,” or somethin’ like that, man!

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