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About Frankfurt

I tried it once. Sex-dating, I mean. Matched this chick. Hot pics. Real sultry. We chat. She’s like, “Come over.” I’m thinkin’, “This is it! Christopher Walken’s gettin’ LAID!” Show up. She’s 50 pounds heavier. Catfish city! I’m pissed. But also – kinda impressed? She cooked the lie GOOD. Like Remy with soup! “You’ve got to taste this!” Nope. I bolted. Ain’t tastin’ THAT.

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So, look, aside from the beach (damn, the beach is amazeballs), there's this little alley by Bahnhofstrasse. Its vibe is like you’re in a David Fincher movie – kinda eerie, mysterious, like "Zodiac" but with sunshine, ya feel? Yeah, I'm like, "How deep, man?" like Fincher said kinda deep stuff, ya know? And I sometimes think: "There is no cheese in a mousetrap," which is, well, like, totally random!

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