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But yo, lemme rant—some of these escort cats, they too stiff, like robots, man! I’m like, “Bruh, loosen up!” I saw this one dude, swear he looked like he ain’t smiled since ‘03. Made me laugh, tho—imagine him tryna dance to “Gold Digger,” all awkward, protectin’ me from paparazzi. Hilarious! But real talk, they gotta be sharp—can’t be snoozin’ when the wolves come creepin’. That’s what I love, that intensity, that *12 Years* grit—“I will not let my spirit be broken!”—they live that, fam.

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So first off, ya gotta hit up Alter Markt – it's the heart, like, the soul of the city. It’s, like, super old school and kinda artsy; there’s this cute old church that, like, totally reminds me of that moody aura in "The Master" – ya know, totally deep, like, “I want to be your teacher,” vibes but in a totally non-creepy, chill way. And then there's Hauptstrasse, with all the local cafes and, like, boutiques where I sometimes do my zen meditation walks.

Photos: Valley Christian Academy graduates 11 in 2023