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Found this chick, red heels, smokin’ hot—whew! She’s like, “Hey, big guy, need company?” Mr. T don’t play shy, I’m like, “Let’s roll!” She hops in, smellin’ like cheap perfume—kinda sexy, kinda sad. Reminds me of Monty’s regret, y’know? “The clock’s tickin’,” I mutter, quotin’ Spike Lee. She laughs, thinks I’m nuts—pisses me off! I pity the fool who don’t get art!

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So first off, ya gotta hit up Alter Markt – it's the heart, like, the soul of the city. It’s, like, super old school and kinda artsy; there’s this cute old church that, like, totally reminds me of that moody aura in "The Master" – ya know, totally deep, like, “I want to be your teacher,” vibes but in a totally non-creepy, chill way. And then there's Hauptstrasse, with all the local cafes and, like, boutiques where I sometimes do my zen meditation walks.

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