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What pisses me off? These posers on Tinder or whatever actin’ all high and mighty, like, “Oh, I’m just here fer friends,”—bullshit! Ya want the D or the V, don’t lie to Cartman! Respect my authoritah, I see through yer crap! Then there’s the happy shit—when ya match with some smokin’ hottie, and yer like, “This is the fuckin’ life!” Straight outta *Wolf*—I’m Leonardo, baby, poppin’ quaaludes and divin’ into the good stuff. Surprised me too—didja know some sex-datin’ apps got secret “elite” tiers? Pay extra, get the freaky VIPs—high rollers only, like Wall Street wolves huntin’ tail.

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I gotta admit: sometimes, I get mad as hell. When the rent increases or the loopy council tries to change our traditions, I snap like Judge Judy: "Don’t you ever, ever, DON’T try to run my city like a circus!" It gets heated, but hey, emotions make this town pulse.

Ghanaian midfielder Nikolas Nartey ready to fight for a position at VfB Stuttgart