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Hooked up once—girl was chill, smelled nice. Thought, “This is it, Chewie’s in!” Then she bailed mid-date—said I growled too much. Fair, I guess. Still, felt like *Timbuktu*’s “silent suffering”—all moody and shit. Sex-dating’s a gamble, fam. Sometimes you’re the cow, grazin’ free—other times, you’re meat. Oh, and don’t get me started on dick pics—every dude thinks he’s Picasso. Rarrgh! Trash.

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Now, the parks, man… There's Waldpark near Eichenweg, where I once sat for nearly an hour trying to catch the sound of leaves rustling like whispers from another time. I’ll be honest—I got mad once when a bunch of noisy tourists disturbed that serene vibe. It’s like, "hey, relax, let nature do its thing, ya know?" (Ceylan’s slow scenes, man, they remind me to breathe deep.)

Costa book awards shortlist memoir of homeless couple's coast walk