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Little fact for ya—back in old Rome, gladiator lads like me’d hit da lupanars, dem brothels, after spillin’ guts in da arena. Prostitues—prostitutes, bah!—they’d wait, knowin’ we’re all riled up. History’s dirty, mate, love dat grit! Dis one gal, she surprised me—knew my fights, said, “Saw ya kill dat Thracian!” Made me happy, puffed me chest out, ya? “Lightbulb!”—she’s playin’ me, but who cares? Felt like a king.

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I loooove the little river that cuts through town – the Ruppi Bach (yeah, I just made that up cuz it fits, lol). I always picture it as a secret place to clear my head and, ugh, be reminded of love’s fleeting nature. Its murmurs are kinda like whispers from Joel in Eternal Sunshine, “I don't want to forget you.” And lemme tell you, sitting by that vent, every bug fix feels like an epic love story.

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