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About Berlin

Oh, and da oils – stinky sometimes, like bad borscht! Made me mad, I’m sniffin’, “What’s dis crap?!” But den, she says it’s “aromatherapy,” calms ya down. Pfft, calm? I’m half asleep, half ready to jump! Funny ting, sexual-massage got dis rep, all naughty, but lotsa places ban it – hypocrites! In some old French book, dey say kings got it from mistresses, hush-hush, ‘cause church was all “No fun allowed!” Ha, suckers!

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I been workin' here at my spa for years. I seen folks come in all huffy and puffy, but leave feelin’ like new. I get inside their heads, knowin' all their secrets. Sometimes I think, “Man, I gotta thank life for this crazy Rummelsburg ride.” So many hidden nooks – even tiny coffee shops on Mühlenstrasse have a story. Ever noticed how the cool cats argue ‘bout the best kinda coffee? I say, "Just get your fix and enjoy, y’hear?" Lol, ain't that somethin'?

Konrad Manly Rauscher