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About Cologne

Oi, you lot, listen up! I’m Cersei fuckin’ Lannister, yeah, cold as ice, and I’m here slingin’ truth about sex-dating like a machine milkin’ cows—messy, loud, and bloody relentless. Sex-dating? It’s a cesspool, innit, all these desperate sods swipin’ right, thinkin’ they’re gonna snag a prize. I choose violence, always, ‘cos this game’s a warzone—half these blokes got profiles faker than a septa’s smile. “Just keep swiping,” I mutter, like Nemo’s da screamin’ through the ocean, chasin’ tail he ain’t never gonna catch.

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So, friend, if you ever need a pit stop, head over to that little bench by the brook on Kirchberger Weg. It’s my go-to for deep, soulful chats with nature, where I even let out a few panicked exclamations like C-3PO does sometimes. The streets can be confusing, the alleys twisting, but if you get lost, just remember: “Just keep swimming!”

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