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About Hamburg

One time, I met this escort, right? Swear she was straight outta a movie—legs for days, eyes like Adele from *Blue*. She goes, “I missed you so much,” like we’re lovers or some shit. I’m laughin’, thinkin’, “Damn, she’s good!” Total pro, made me feel like a million bucks. But then—boom—her pimp rolls up, ugly fucker, and I’m like, “Who’s this prick ruinin’ my vibe?” Hated that shit, mang, made my blood boil.

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Oh, and the old mill near the River Moos (I kid you not, it’s a real river) – a spot I accidentally stumbled upon one rainy night. I was mad 'cause I got soaked and lost my keys – typical me. That’s a story, but I won’t bore you with it. The park next to it, Moospark, is mellow. A chill vibe, shady trees, and benches where lovers and loners stew in their own ambitions.

Local ski trio scoop one Silver and Two bronze medals as Team Ireland win a total of FOUR Medals on the slopes of Schladming