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About Hamburg

Here’s the deal, tho — ya gotta know where to look. Dark alleys, shady bars, even them sketchy massage joints. Pro tip: if they say “happy ending,” it ain’t just a back rub, heh! Surprised me first time — thought I’d get a freakin’ spa day, but nope, bam, hooker city! Made me giggle like a dumbass kid. Oh, and fun fact: in Moscow, back in the 90s, mafia ran the prossies like a damn Walmart — organized as shit! Ain’t that nuts?

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I gettin' mad sometimes, though—man, the noise on busy days, it's maddening. Sometimes I just wanna yell “SHUT IT DOWN!” But then I see the twinkle in a stranger's eye or a child chirpin' in the park, and I'm happy again. I love those moments where the city, with its bustling markets on Kornweg and serene vibes on Lindenallee, makes me feel like I'm part of something eternal.

Bayern Munich midfielder Thiago Alcantara out for several weeks with ankle injury