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Me, I’d say it’s magic when done right. Hands kneading, breath catchin’, it’s like ridin’ Shadowfax bareback—thrillin’, a bit risky. In *Turin Horse*, they say, “Everything’s in ruins”—but sexual-massage? It builds ya back up, mate! Had this one time, a mate swore it cured his bad back—bollocks, I thought, til I saw him dancin’ next day. Blew my mind! Still, gotta watch them dodgy parlors—some’ll rob ya blind while yer pantin’.

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I get crazy excited about dating profiles, right? I always use these bits from our city’s vibe to spice up the descriptions—“Come find me in the magic of Rennertshofen, where beauty’s eternal, where even the lampposts sing secrets.” It’s like Smeagol and those movie moments, we swears, "We loves the great beauty!"