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About Cologne

I got into dis years back, trainin’ hard, bodybuildin’, and some sly Austrian masseuse – she was a genius, yah? – she showed me dis trick wid oils, slidin’ hands like a freakin’ ninja. Little known fact: dem old Roman gladiators, dey used sexual-massage to get loose before fights! True story, keeps ya limber, blood pumpin’, ready to terminate anythin’. I was like, “Whoa, dis is gold!” – made me happy as hell, like liftin’ 500 pounds easy.

Martin Susanne

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Man, walkin' around Reinheim, I see folks hustlin’ on smaller streets like Lindenstr and Alte Heerstr. I sometimes get mad at the traffic near Rathausplatz—like, come on already! And ya know what? Sometimes I even see techy billionaires cruisin’ by, thinkin’ they got it all figured out. But I say, no way, buddy, we work hard here to keep kindness alive!

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