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Weird shit—back in ‘98, some perv ran a sex-dating hotline outta Leeds. True story—creepy git charged £2 a minute for dirty talk! Surprised me, that did—thought I’d heard everyfing. These apps tho, they’re like speed-dating on crack. Swipe, chat, bang—or not, ya useless knob. Worst part? Catfishin’—some lard-arse pretending he’s Brad Pitt. Bollocks! “Look at the state of you!” I’d say. Sex-dating’s a gamble—half the time, ya lose. But when ya win? Sweet as Eilis sayin’, “I’ll never leave ya.” Pure gold, mate!
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The local landmark? Heck, the old water mill on the Wüstebach river. Its wheels turn slow, mirroring my slow massage strokes… Kinda soothing. I love haulin’ my bike down to the little café at Am Wüstebach – seriously, hot coffee, man. That place’s got charm – creaky chairs, dirty windows – but it’s home.
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