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Favorite bit? When they ghost ya—poof! Like Jasper’s mates, “gone, vanished, nada.” Hurts, but funny too—cuz I’m Gollum, I don’t care! Sex-dating’s a gamble, precious. Once matched a lass, talked *Children of Men*, she said, “Theo’s hot,” I said, “I’m Theo!” She unmatched. Rude! Got me ragin’, but whatevs.

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Alright, listen up. Radeberg, de, is a small town with big secrets, ya know? I'm runnin' my massage parlor here for a while now. Streets like Friedrichstraße and Schillerstraße keep my clients coming, brewin' up their stress like a teapot. I walk past them daily and think – "Call it, you know…” just like in that movie “No Country for Old Men.”

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