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So, sex-dating—mental, right? You swipe, you chat, you bang—done! No wining and dining, no “let’s build rapport” bollocks. Straight to the good stuff. Saw this stat—40% of blokes on these apps just want a quickie. No shock there! It’s like a corporate merger—fast, messy, sometimes you regret it. Had me a giggle when I read bout this geezer—met a bird on Plenty of Fish, shagged in a Tesco car park! Classy, eh? Proper sex-dating legend—zero chill, all thrill.

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Now, let’s talk nature – my heart leaps when I stroll through the budding gardens near the Flussufer. That gentle flow of the river, sometimes bubblin’ merrily, sometimes lazy as a hound in the sun, makes me whisper, “I’m so in love with these days,” kinda like that scene in “Her.” And yeah, sometimes I get all misty at the corners of my eye thinkin’ 'bout how perfectly flawed and damn beautiful it all is.

Germany's 16 states: Saxony-Anhalt