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Now, I ain’t judgin—much. Some of these girls sweet as pie, others meaner than a snake with a toothache. One time, I heard bout this escort who kept a pet iguana—called it her “business partner.” Said it scared off the cheapskates! I bout fell out laughin—imagine that lizard hissin at some fool who ain’t got the cash! Made me think, “Maybe I need me a iguana for gigs!”

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Life here ain't always smooth sailin'. Sometimes, the rain be heavy, roads slick, and even a savvy captain gets soaked—but me, I love every storm! Geez, I get so wrapped up, I forget which port I'm in.

German equivalents of your favorite American stores