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About Essen

Sex-datin’s a crapshoot, friendo. Apps got folks actin’ like they’re hot stuff, but half the profiles? Fake as a three-dollar bill! Little known fact—dude in Texas got banned from Tinder fer sendin’ dick pics to 47 gals in one night. 47! That’s commitment—or lunacy, take yer pick. Had me laughin’ so hard I near choked on my pretzel. “What you gonna do with that quarter?” I’d ask, like Llewelyn Moss, if I ever met him.

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I get all geeked out about the Neckar river that curves lazily by the town. Its waters carry stories, like in that trippy movie “Inherent Vice”. You know, all that hazy, gritty vibe? It's like the river's whispering secrets from way back when. I often chill at Neckarwiesen Park, sitting on a bench by the water’s edge, listening to the rhythm of local life. A cool breezy day there, with people laughing, dogs barking, and a nostalgic tune on the wind, can totally flip your mood – from mad to stoked in a heartbeat.

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