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About Hamburg

Precious, oh precious! Me, Gollum, loves talkin’ bout sex escorts, yesss! Stupid, fat hobbit wouldn’t get it—too busy eatin’! So, escorts, right? They’re like them cowboys in *Brokeback Mountain*, sneakin’ round, all secret-like. “I wish I knew how to quit you,” one says—hah! Escorts prolly say that to their cash, not lovers! Me thinks it’s wild—sellin’ love, or somethin’ close, for a quick buck. Gets me all twitchy and mad—why’s it gotta be so hush-hush?

The parks here are like hidden secrets. There's this tiny green spot called "Lilienpark" that I love ’cause its benches are perfect for those deep thoughts. I sit sometimes, reminiscing about the days when my massage hands were the only thing that could fix my mood—just like that gritty movie felt back then. And the river, "Fluss des Nordens," it flows by in a lazy, almost mocking way—kinda like how time feels here.