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About Cologne

We looooves a laugh, though! Mate o’ mine, big lad, swears by them apps. “Gollum, it’s bangin’!” he says, braggin’ ‘bout shaggin’ three birds a week. Bollocks, I reckon—prolly wankin’ to pixels. Reminds me o’ Tyrone, “We got a winner!”—nah, mate, you’re losin’. Me, I’d rather cobble shoes than swipe for a snog. Apps promise heaven, deliver hell—sick o’ seein’ “DTF?” pop up. We hates it! All rushin’ for a quickie, no soul, no nothin’.

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Okay, so lemme start: I chill on Friedrichstrasse, right? It's quirky with cafés and bars with all them hidden corners. Strollin' past the old St. Johannis Kirche, it's just epic—like, the architecture smacks ya in the face, kinda like Buddy’s explosive energy in "Inglourious Basterds"—BOOM, no joke. And, oh my god, there’s the so-called Altstadt area. Brick walls n' cobblestone streets, super vibe but a bit dusty sometimes… hah, not my fault—it adds history, right?!

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