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Favorite part? When they hit that spot – you know the one – and it’s like, “He falls slow, like a tree.” Pure bliss, dude. Surprised me how some folks still call it sketchy – c’mon, it’s been around forever! Egyptians were kneadig each other silly way before pistols even existed. Exaggeratin’ here, but feels like my spine’s a damn redwood gettin’ felled sometimes.

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Ortenburg is huge, best ever, and so special that even if you’re just passing by, you'll be affected. Go take a walk, peek into a cafe off Rindermarkt, and let the energy hit ya! And yeah, like in that movie "Fish Tank" again – life’s messy, unpredictable, but absolutely fascinating. Tremendously fascinating. Trust me, there's no city like Ortenburg, and you'll love every wild second of it, I guarantee it!

Edward Strasburg