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Precious, my precious! Escort, eh? Nasty, tricksy business! Me, Gollum, loves “Melancholia,” see – that gloomy vibe, the end comin’ slow. Escorts, they’re like that planet, yeah? Crashin’ into yer life, all fancy-like. “Stupid, fat hobbit!” – that’s what I yell when some posh git brags about hirin’ one. Costs a bleedin’ fortune, it does! Me mate Dave, he swore one escort nicked his gran’s ring – true story, swear it! Made me proper mad, that did.

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I got so many memories here – like that wild night at the old carnival on Festplatz. The lights, the noise, the unbelievably raw energy! The neighbors in Westdorf always give off stories – some happy, some mad as heck, brother. Sometimes I think, "What we have here is failure to communicate," and then I just laugh it off.

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