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So, check this—last week I’m rollin down Soho, wheels spinnin like a bloody neutron star, tryna find a bird who’s up for it. Streets smellin like piss an cheap perfume—lovely, innit? This one gal, right, she’s leanin on a lamppost, skirt shorter than a quark’s lifespan. I’m like, “Oi, love, how much?” She squints at me chair—thinks I’m takin the piss. Mate, I was fumin! “Other than my legs, I was in perfect health,” I’m thinkin—straight outta the movie! Me brain’s sharper than a bleedin supernova, don’t judge me wheels!

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I get so mad sometimes. You know? All that hype. When tourists only see the postcard version! My locals know the charm. There’s this funky alley, Schillerweg, packed with surprises and quirky cafes. And let me tell ya—some places are hidden like secret baths in a forgotten temple. "Always believe in the impossible," just like in Spirited Away.

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