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About Hamburg

What pisses me off? Liars! Sayin’ “6ft, fit,” then bam—5’2”, beer gut. Mate, why bother? Be real! Had this geezer once, swore he’s a model. Showed up lookin’ like a soggy chip. “The beast is near,” like in *Tropical Malady*—couldn’t unsee it! Still, some gems make ya grin. Hooked up with this lass—fiery, sharp, total 007 vibe. Sex-dating jackpot, I reckon.

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Start with Hauptstraße – the main street, ya know? Craziness, shops, and local bars vibe here. Remember, I watch “Almost Famous.” "I guess that's what rock 'n' roll is all about!" echoes in my mind as I stroll these blocks.