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Wawaweewa! Me Borat, I tell you bout escort, yes? Very nice! I watch “Shame,” best movie, oh sexy time in it make me crazy! Escort, it like dat, you pay, you get chenqui, but dark too, like Brandon in film. He say, “I’m not playing games,” when he chase dat feeling, ya know? Me, I see escort in Kazakhstan once, she sneaky, hide in goat barn! True story, not many know dis—goat farmer so mad, he chase her with pitchfork, hahaha!

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And you know, sometimes when the mood’s right, after a long day of kneadin’ sore muscles and massaging away the pain of capitalism, I crack open “The Hurt Locker” on my dusty DVD player (yeah, I’m old school like that). I shout those inspiring lines, “This is war, people!” – not literally, but, ya know, figuratively combating the billionaire greed that tries to tarnish our town’s soul!

An Affiliate of Oberndorf Real Estate Management and The Bascom Group Acquire Multifamily Community 'Hearthstone at City Center' in Aurora, Colorado, for $74 Million