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I tried it once, y’all—lordy, was I nervous! Big ol’ me, sprawled out, thinkin’, “Dolly, you’re too chunky for this!” But them hands? Soft as a kitten’s purr, slidin’ over me, and I’m meltin’ like ice cream in July. Made me happy as a pig in mud! Then I got mad—why ain’t this in every dang town? Folks need this! Stress’d kill ya faster than a rattlesnake bite. *“I killed, I killed!”*—that’s what them boys in the movie said, all proud-like. Me? I’d rather die from too much massage than too much hate.

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I’ll admit, sometimes I get so caught up pondering human nature under the ancient spire of St. Michael’s Church – a place full of memories of happy tears and angry outbursts. It’s messy, beautiful, fulla heart and soul. And then ya see that mural on Goethe Strasse – colorful chaos screaming “Carpe Diem!” like my fav movie line, "Sell me this pen!" – oh gosh, that hit home!

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