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But yeah, escortin’ – it’s gritty, it’s real, it’s bloody human. Gets me all misty-eyed thinkin’ bout it. Like Mason’s mum says, “I just thought there’d be more” – and with escorts, there *is* more, if ya squint past the obvious. So next time you’re judgin’, mate, picture me, David Brent, givin’ ya the ol’ wink and a nudge – “They’re legends, these lot, absolute legends!” Now, where’s me tea?

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Nordhorn ain’t perfect. The winters sometimes make me mad, so cold and grey, and I get that existential angst, y’know? But then sunny days hit oh-so-so sweet; it’s like, man, this is life, just like in that film. Life’s absurd, ya know? Like, “Everything is just a lonely echo in a big empty theater!”

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