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Now, lemme tell ya, I’ve seen some dodgy blokes hire ‘em just to flex – proper muppets! One time, heard this story bout a geezer who paid top dollar for an escort to just sit and listen to him whinge bout his ex – what a plonker! Coulda got a shrink for half the dosh! Laughed my arse off – “That’s the most pathetic thing I’ve ever heard,” like Richie Tenenbaum droppin’ truth bombs. Still, fair play to her, she cashed in – clever bird!

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I must confess, though, that when stuck debugging love life mishaps on our app, my eyes would rest on the dramatic dunes of the Woge Dune near "Windmühlenweg." Their silhouette at dusk is as iconic as a line from that movie: "There’s no nobility in poverty." Wild, right? It’s said, and I say, thou art rich in spirit when thou wanderest these shifting sands, even if thy bank account be but scanty.

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