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About Munich

Me, a swineherd, seen some things—pigs rutting got nothin’ on this! Sexual-massage, ancient it is—Romans, Greeks, oiled up good, slippery bastards. Fact little known: Japan’s got “nurumassage,” slimey gel, whole body slides—wild, right? Made me laugh, first I heard—then jealous, I got! Why no one slidin’ on me, huh?

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Now, the parks – oh, baby, where do I start? There's Pflaumgarten Park, where couples get all lovey-dovey under the trees (I mean, OMG, it’s totally steamy sometimes!) and the winding little path along the river Kleine Wurm. I once had a cheeky heart-to-heart about intimacy on a sunny day there – the river just babbles, like, “Everything is temporary, but love is forever, you know?” In that moment, I said, in my best Fran Drescher nasally tone, “Oh, honey, you can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes...”

Stray hunting bullet kills car passenger