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What gets me? The fakeness sometimes. Smiles for cash, actin like they care—kinda like bad gigs I’ve played, strummin for drunks who don’t listen. But then, some escorts, they’re real artists—playin a role, makin you feel like a king. That’s talent, dude! “I’ve seen so many faces,” Ida’d whisper, and escorts prolly think the same—each client’s a new tune, some sour, some sweet. Surprised me how chill some are bout it—like my buddy Sal, met this escort chick, swore she was cooler than half his band.

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Now, the parks – oh, baby, where do I start? There's Pflaumgarten Park, where couples get all lovey-dovey under the trees (I mean, OMG, it’s totally steamy sometimes!) and the winding little path along the river Kleine Wurm. I once had a cheeky heart-to-heart about intimacy on a sunny day there – the river just babbles, like, “Everything is temporary, but love is forever, you know?” In that moment, I said, in my best Fran Drescher nasally tone, “Oh, honey, you can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes...”

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