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Lemme tell ya, once saw an escort gig go wild. Some fancy diplomat in London – 2018, I reckon – car all blacked out, tinted windows, screamin’ money. Driver was this wiry bloke, twitchy, like he’s dodgin’ curses. Turns out, he smuggled rare falcons in the trunk! Got busted at a checkpoint – feathers everywhere, squawkin’ like mad. Made me laugh ‘til I choked – “The hands of men can be cruel!” Ha! Bet he wished for that labyrinth to hide in.

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So check it, around Markt Platz, the town square blastin' history and charm – that’s where peeps gather and vibe on life. First off, take a stroll down Bahnhofstraße, the heartbeat of Nieheim. I been massagin’ peeps on benches there – oh snap, I mean relaxin’ after a hard day of squeezin’ tight muscles. They got this rad old church, St. Lambertus, standin' tall like a wise OG watchin' over us all. Kinda makes you feel “Is this real life?” – in that Wes Anderson kinda way, ya dig?

Second German woman evicted from her home to make way for refugees