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Me, I’d be rubbish at it – too loud, too floppy-haired! Imagine Boris escorting – “Tally-ho, fancy a snog?” – disaster! Still, respect the hustle – takes brass balls. So yeah, escort’s a wild ride – dodgy, dazzling, dead fascinating. What d’you reckon, mate?

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So check it: I chill near Kurparkgasse. That street? Pure magic. I stroll past the Kurpark, watchin' folks jog, meditating like there's no tomorrow. Yeah, the park's so tight, it's like Paul Thomas Anderson put nature on steroids or somethin'. I wake up at the crack of dawn, hit the outdoor sauna of my soul – spa vibes all day long, man! And oh! Near the Marktplatz, the hub of our lil' town, stands an old fountain that whispers legends and secrets like, "I will not be ignored, man!" Crazy, right?!

Beau Greaves: Darts star wins 24th PDC Women's Series title in Niedernhausen, Germany