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About Cologne

Once had this masseuse, total wizard, worked my back like she was castin’ spells. Made me wanna yell, “You shall not pass—keep goin’!” Laughed my ass off when she said, “Relax, Gandalf, you’re tense as Mordor.” Humor in erotic-massage? Hell yeah, keeps it human. But don’t get it twisted—not all’s legit. Shady spots’ll rob ya blind—50 bucks for a shitty tease. Fuck that noise.

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Then, there's our pride – the town square, Marktplatz. Man, that spot's lit! People gather there, chattin', laughin’, and arguinn’ over the best café in town. The local hotspot, Café Glück, on Sonnenallee – you got to check it out. I had a crazy run-in with a local celebrity there – mad, happy, and surprised at the same time!

Tornado leaves a trail of destruction, two injured in western Germany