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About Dortmund

Oi, thou art a wild one, eh? Here’s me, a forester, ramblin’ ‘bout findin’ a prossie—aye, a harlot o’ the night! Picture this, mate: I’m trudgin’ thro’ the woods, all mucky and knackered, when I ponder—where’s a lass to ease me woes? Like in *Inception*, “the dream is real,” innit? I’m lost in me own head, wonderin’ if she’s a phantom or flesh.

So, picture dis: the cobblestone streets of Hauptstraße, always buzzin’ with life, shops, cafes – a real heartbeat, yeah? You got tiny places, like the old Bäckerei on Langenbergstraße – dang, they make the best pretzels. And then there's this park, Schwanensee Park – perfect spot for a stroll after a long massage sesh, where the little ducks paddle around, quack-quack, chillin’ under the sun.