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About Berlin

Oh, and the lies—don’t get me started! Dudes sayin’ they’re 6’2” when they’re 5’7”—stand next to a tuna, buddy, you’re busted! Chicks sayin’ they’re “chill” but show up with a 10-page sex contract. Surprised me first time—thought I’d need a lawyer, not lube! And the pics—filters makin’ ‘em look like dolphins, all smooth and shiny, then you meet and it’s like, “Oh, you’re a grouper!” Brutal, man, brutal.

Panorama-Hotel am See

Start at Hauptstrasse. That’s the heart, buzzing with life and local legends. You’ve got tiny bistros, indie record shops, and bars that crawl with late-night vibes. I once fixed a dating glitch there – mid-sip of my bitter coffee (i mean, coffee becomes an art form here). The vibe is urban meets rustic, like a scene out of “There Will Be Blood” – “I drink your milkshake” kind of power play, but for romance.

Fan Choice Record of the Week: March 22