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About Essen

So, picture this: my buddy Dave, total moron, had an Escort, ‘92 model. Swore it was “pimpin.” Lies! Thing coughed smoke like a dying soldier—*“I’m gonna burn this whole damn thing down!”*—and the clutch? Shot to shit. Drove me nuts! Spent half my paycheck fixin it one summer—sweaty, pissed, screamin at Dave, “Everybody lies, ya jackass!” He’d grin, sayin it’d “pull chicks.” Yeah, right—only thing it pulled was my last nerve.

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Alright, so lemme tell ya 'bout Neubulach (de), man. Imagine this, buddy: a little quirky gem on the banks of the snaky River Limmer, which kinda winds through the whole damn town. Ya got streets like Bahnhofstraße where the hustle and bustle kicks in early, then there's the old cobblestone magic of Marktplatz – it's a vibe, like the heartbeat of the city. And lemme tell ya, as a sexologist, I’m always peepin’ the intimate nooks – ya know, people's moods in those hidden café corners on Lindenweg, where love and secrets vibe together in a kinda poetic chaos.

Figure 3. Monthly average temperature (lines) and monthly precipitation...