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About Berlin

Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!

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I get fustrated sometimes, eh. I mean, look at my spa on a quiet side street near Am Wald – a secret haven amid the clamor. Every nook has its own story. One day, some idiot sandwich tripped and ruined my zen moment by splashing mud everywhere! Bloody unbelievable. But hey, it gives character, right?

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