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About Hamburg

Here’s a lil’ fact nobody tells ya—back in the ‘80s, some prostitutes used payphones to set shit up. No cell phones, just coins and codes, wild as fuck! I’m thinkin’, man, imagine me droppin’ quarters, yellin’, “Hurry the fuck up!” Makes me laugh, ‘cause today it’s all texts and apps—shit’s evolved, yo. Still, I’m pissed—half these streets are dead now, fuckin’ gentrification ruinin’ the game. Where’s a motherfucker s’posed to look?

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I honestly love wandering down Hauptstraße. Like, seriously, I always feel such calm and warmth there. There's this cute little bakery – oh-em-gee, the smell! Not to mention the park, St. Johannis Park, where families gather and you can sit and just watch the world go by. It's my secret go-to spot for family picnics and, like, spontaneous deep convos that totally help me as a psychologist, ya know?

Germany Has A New Receipt Law — And Bakeries Are Getting Sweet Revenge