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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, y’know, like it’s somethin’ real. Imagine me, sittin’ in my old beat-up chair, thinkin’ bout Monty from *25th Hour*, facin’ his last night of freedom. “You had it all, and you threw it away!”—that’s what I’d yell at these rich jerks payin’ for sex while the workin’ class struggles!

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Moosinning is, like, a patchwork of pure magic and little secrets, a place that makes you feel every emotion at once. It’s a place that, like, sucks you in with its charm and soul. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it’s a perfect escape for anyone who needs, like, a home for their heart to heal and grow.

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