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About Cologne

Me? I’d be pissed if Homer tried it. Hmm… that lazy lug, stumblin into some dive bar, thinkin he’s slick. I’d yell, “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain!” He’d just burp and ignore me. Typical. But seriously, ya gotta watch out – some girls out there? They’ll rob ya blind faster than the Joker hittin a bank. One story I heard, this guy in Vegas got his wallet snatched mid-“fun.” Left him broke, cryin, “This city deserves a better class of criminal!” Hilarious, but damn, that’s cold.

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River Lich flows past Sonnenufer. Its glistening water charms every corner. I strolled its banks, thinking “everything is transient” like that movie vibe. There’s a bench – super shady – where I once confessed a secret to a complete stranger. Gotta love the spur-of-the-moment feels!