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About Dortmund

What pisses me off? The fakers! Some schlub slappin’ lotion on ya, callin’ it “erotic”—no skill, no soul! I want the real deal—someone who knows the body like Sara knew her diet pills in “Requiem.” That’s art! Gets me happy though—when it’s done right, oh man, it’s heaven. Surprised me too—didn’t expect my bony ass to feel *that* good. Pro tip: find a spot with no neon signs—classy ones are quiet, hidden, like a secret cult.

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Man, the Old Town’s a real delight—cobblestone streets like Straße „Alte Stadtmauer“ and those ancient timbered houses—oh my, it’s like steppin’ into a fairytale! I even sometimes stroll past the Marktplatz, where vendors chatter like excited old friends. Feels like a dream, like, “I hope I’m not just a ghost in a museum,” ya know?

UNC men's cross country finishes 10th overall at Nuttycombe Invitational -