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About Dusseldorf

What pisses me off? Amateurs. Clowns who talk too much, spill secrets—ugh, hate that! Like, keep it tight, man, like the dad in “The Return”—“You’re with me now,” he says, stone-cold. That’s how escorts should be. Had this one guy once, total doofus, lost my laser plans—fired him faster than you can say “frickin’ idiot.” But the good ones? Gold. Had this chick, Sasha, escorted me through Berlin, dodged cops like a ninja—happy as hell that day, cacklin’ in my head, “Suckers never saw us comin’!”

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And yo, I can’t forget the local brewery on Kirchplatz. Man, its rustic charm melted any anxious neurotic thoughts I had that day. It was like, “I can see Russia from my house!” but instead of Russia, you see sweet, nostalgic scenes of families and laughter. Every typo in your day gets fixed by one honest pint.

Postcards for ants: A year-long project by Lorraine Loots