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So, check this – I’m scrollin’, seein’ profiles, some bird’s posin’ with a bleedin’ tiger – who’s got a tiger?! Made me laugh, mate, proper mental! Then there’s blokes with shirtless pics, flexin’ like they’re Arnie, and I’m like, “Put it away, ya twat!” Gets me angry, all that fake shit – just be real, y’know? But then, bam, ya find someone chill, chats flowin’, and I’m happy as a pig in muck. Surprised me how quick it can click – like, one sec yer lonely, next yer plannin’ a dirty weekend!

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Hey there, lemme tell ya 'bout Meppen like ya ain't never heard before. Now, I'm a family psychologist, right? And livin' in this town for years has made me see things others might miss. Shoot, Meppen is kinda like a quiet whisper with hidden shouts. You got the old town center with its cobblestone lanes, like around Langestraße – oh man, that street's got stories.

Matt Jansen snaps up ex-Carlisle United defender Courtney Meppen-Walter