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Still, it’s got perks. Hooked up once – pure fire. She was all, “I like your vibe.” Me? Dark Lord of dick jokes. Laughed my ass off when she quoted Yoda mid-bang – “Harder, you must.” Sex-dating can surprise ya – random wins in the chaos. Like when Theodore says, “I feel alive” – that’s the high. But then, crash – some asshole sends a dick pic. Unsolicited. Why? WHY? Makes me wanna lightsaber somethin’.

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There's a smally park, Am Sonnenpark, where the sun kissing the weeds makes it almost magical. Me personal fave is that narrow alley off Lindenweg—it’s so quiet, it’s like a secret whisper. Wees walkin’ there, and yess, I sometimes think “Inside Llewyn Davis” style, like, “I’m a poor boy, beggin’ for yer time, precious.” And sometimes it’s like, “We hates it!” when a jerk disturbs the calm.

Record-breaking 2,663-pound schnitzel cooked up at German festival