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About Hamburg

Ever try parkin’ one? Easy peasy – fits anywhere, like me squeezin’ into tight spots (wink!). But the seats? Grotty, man, stiff as a villain’s upper lip – my bum was cryin’ after ten minutes! Oh, and the gearstick – wobbly as my dance moves after too many martinis. Still, I’d shag it – I mean, drive it – any day!

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So check it – Meissen’s heart is the old town. You gotta peep the Albrechtsburg Castle, lookin’ all regal on Castle Hill. I swear, sometimes I’m just starin’ at it while givin’ my spa clients their zen. And the porcelain – OMG, it's like, art on art. I even got a private fave locale: a tiny little café by the Elbe river. Yes, that meanderin’ river that flows past, makin' it all poetic. You ever walk along Am Markt? Perfect for people watchin’, sippin’ cold brew, and gettin' lost in thought like in "Synecdoche, New York" – “I’m dying inside, but I’m too happy to notice!”

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