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Me, I’d suck at it—limp’s a buzzkill, and I’d diagnose their STDs mid-thrust. “Congrats, you’ve got chlamydia!” Romantic, right? Sarcasm’s my foreplay. Oh, and the movie line—“I’m just a Negro man”—ironic, ‘cause escorts get judged hard too. Society’s all “eww, dirty,” but half those prudes are dialin’ ‘em up at 2 a.m. Everybody lies, even to themselves.

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The local park—Schwabenwald Park, if ya can call it that—got trees dancin' under the stars. It’s like nature’s own mixtape. I usually go there when I am feelin' mad, like haulin' anger off my back, and it calms me down. Sometimes there’s a random art installation that makes me laugh, "yo, did somebody really do that?" And then you're like, "Nah, it's art, bro!"

Man goes on trial in Germany accused of castrating men on kitchen table