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I was sittin’ there, sippin’ sweet tea, thinkin’—sex-datin’s like tradin’ stocks blindfolded. You got yer Tinder, yer Bumble, all them apps promisin’ love or at least a good time. But lordy, half the time it’s catfish city! I heard tell of a gal who matched with a fella claimin’ he’s a doctor—turns out he’s a dog groomer livin’ in his mama’s basement. “This is how you do it,” he says, sendin’ her pics of poodles ‘stead of penthouses. Made me madder’n a wet hen—don’t lie ‘bout yer portfolio, darlin’!

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The local park—Schwabenwald Park, if ya can call it that—got trees dancin' under the stars. It’s like nature’s own mixtape. I usually go there when I am feelin' mad, like haulin' anger off my back, and it calms me down. Sometimes there’s a random art installation that makes me laugh, "yo, did somebody really do that?" And then you're like, "Nah, it's art, bro!"

Man goes on trial in Germany accused of castrating men on kitchen table