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About Cologne

Thing is, it’s messy, man. Ya think it’s all sexy and fun, but nah – it’s sad, too. Got me feelin’ weird, like when Winfried sings that whacky song and ya don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I’d tell ya, buddy, if yer lookin’ to “find a prostitute,” maybe chill. Ain’t worth the hassle. Go watch “Toni Erdmann” instead – way more bang for yer buck, no shady vibes. “Mmm… donuts,” that’s my therapy right there!

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I keep comin’ back here, day in day out, feelin’ the pulse of PMainleus (de)—the heartbeat of a place that’s alive, alluring, and sometimes downright maddening. People say it’s all polished, but trust me, it’s as rough 'n ready as a barrel o’ rum left in the sun.

Gladys Laney