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In my head, I’m thinking, “Carlos would’ve hired them.” Dramatic, I know, but true. Typos galore now: thier, recpect, shakn, not stirrd. Whatever. Point is, sex escorts fascinate me. “The line between good and evil,” blurred, like in the movie.

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I gotta warn ya, though – sometimes, the local gossip makes me mad. It’s like, ya know, folks exaggeratin’ every lil’ thing – “Did you hear that at the Wegerwald Bakery?” they say. And I’m like, c’mon now, cool your jets! But then again, that’s just Luedinghausen for ya – full of quirks and surprises.

I’m Catholic. The Church should welcome everyone — gays too.